we have pet lesbian snakes
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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