Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
