so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
