i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
