He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
