This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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