I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
