WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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