Fine. I'll sleep in my office
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
