i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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