I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
