woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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