I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
