And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
