is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
