the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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