im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm at about main and main street
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
