we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
