the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
