last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
