I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
