she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
be right there i have to get my cape
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
