she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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