now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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