So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
areolas are like halos for boobs.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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