remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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