This is not my ceiling
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
