white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You are a genius and a whore.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I love you.
Bad choice
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
