Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
