i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
