We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
