i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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