My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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