I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
