I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Fuck appropriateness.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
No subtext here. People are naked.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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