beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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