the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
