Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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