I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
