I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
