Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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