Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i think i have two assholes
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
