idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
