I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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