I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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