Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
