u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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