He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
