I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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