dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
