Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
